Friday, August 30, 2013

The Missing Parent

I have certainly had a heck of a about an emotional roller coaster. Between what happen last week with my oldest son, then the phone call I got last night... I just didn't know how I was going to make it through today, let alone keep my head up & continue to push forward through this never ending battle I'm in. 

Last night I got a call that baby daddy, of this little guy I'm waiting for to arrive, has turned himself in & will be on his way to prison for a while...A long while. From what I understand at least 4 years, if not longer. That was a hard pill to swallow. I've known this was coming, which is why we have been split up. However what I didn't know was the emotions that would hit when I got off the phone. I've got so many questions...

* How am I going to keep his/her daddy's image & spirit alive?
* How am I going to make sure he/she knows who he is when he gets out & come to meet his child for the first time?
* How do I handle a new relationship?
* What if I get into something serious & end up married by that time? How will he handle it?
* Will he want to try & be a family when he comes & finds us? 
* How do I make sure that while he's away, he don't miss ANYTHING?

So many questions.... But I think I've come up with a way & am adjusting, slowly, to all of it. 

How do you deal with a parent missing from the home due to similar reasons? Any tips would be very helpful!

I ended up crying nearly all night. The emotions were overwhelming & I'm sure the hormones weren't helping at all. I mean, this is the father of the child I am carrying. His first child. Knowing what kind of man he truly is, knowing what kind of father he was to my daughter... Knowing what kind of heart this man has... Just amazing. I am so proud to have such a man to father this child, even if it will be years before he gets the chance.

I ended up going for a 3 mile walk this morning....3 miles, I know! But by doing so I got myself out of the house & was able to release a little stress. I am considering going on those walks more often & hopefully this will keep me on a better path mentally, & of course physically as well.

I am also taking on the 30 day squat challenge again, starting Sunday...This time I am actually going to finish it! 

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Recipe Corner ~ Homemade Tortillas

For the first time last week, I made Shredded Chicken Tostato's. 
I was terrified. I'd never even eaten them, so I had no idea what I was doing! 
Of course though, with my love for food & being in the kitchen I had to go all out. Plus I was cooking for someone 'special' & had to show off my mad skills a little bit. 
To put the cherry on top, I decided I was going to make the tortillas myself, rather than just buying a package & cheating. (However, while I was at the store buying everything, I did buy a package just in case I screwed up making them myself. Haha)

Homemade Tortillas
3 Cups Flour
1/3 Tsp Salt
1/3 Tsp Baking Powder
1/3 Cup Veggie Oil
1 Cup Warm Water

I combined all ingredients in a medium sized bowl & began mixing together with my hands. Once I had a good dough going & most of the flour mixed in, I would rip off 1"-2" balls & used a glass in place of a rolling pin to make flat. I then placed in a warm skillet & would let sit until they had a few light brown spots, then flip. Each one prolly took about 3-4 minutes.

I just could not believe how easy it was. I had spoke to a few of my girlfriends, one of which has cooked homemade meals for a long time, & even she said that she wouldn't attempt making her own tortillas! I was so worried when I started mixing the dough...but everything turned out just fine...

In fact, that someone special made the comment he'd even use them to make his breakfast & was eating them by themselves before the chicken even came out of the oven!!!  

Child Custody Is Never A Fair Fight

Have you ever been through a child custody battle? I currently have my hands full & am just ready to blow!!! I am dealing with a case regarding my oldest son where his father has totally violated every bit of the 'agreed parenting plan'. 

You see, right now he currently has residential custody, which I am hoping to change rather soon. For a while now, I have been denied everything, even a working contact number! Of course, there is a parenting plan in place, so today I got fed up & went to his last known residence to find out that he wasn't there & that they (his family) would not give me a contact phone number! Can you believe that? But to make it just a little sweeter, I had an officer with me & they lied & changed their story to me, right in front of the officer! 

Now I am going to get a few more free consultations & see if there is a lawyer that I can afford to hire & I am taking this to court! Especially now that I have done everything in my power to see my son & they have lied to me & denied me my parenting time right in front of an officer!

If you have any advice for me, I'd sure be happy to hear it. Please comment on this post.

I will not give up!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Book Corner ~ What Are You Reading?

I am reading Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life & Legacy as the Duck Commander by Phil Robertson. 

In his book, he gives plenty of advice for living a happy life. So far I've made it to chapter 5 & have read about how he grew up, the way things were back in the day, his football era & I'm just getting into when he met Kay & they became official. 

So far I absolutely love the book. In fact, I should go open it up & read a little bit more, however I'm totally sidetracked on the blog, which Phil I'm sure would say just makes life complicated, with these computers & such, ya know. Haha. 

What Takes Your Breath Away?

I never really get asked this question very often, but then most, it's pretty obvious. I can be outside with my friends & be in the middle of a conversation & just like 'squirrel', I'll stop & stare as I hear a Cummins coming down the road. Then once it passes, my attention is still stolen if I find it's lifted & ready for a good time off road. 

Now my man on the other hand, is a Chevy fan (seems his family is too) fact, he's currently driving a GMC. I give him grief all the time, but what die hard Dodge fan wouldn't? We continue to have these 'negotiation' wars, which just make me giggle. I'll pick out a Chevy & he'll pick out a Dodge, either yes or no & then on to the next 'negotiation'. The few things we do agree on is that it's a diesel & big enough for all our children! ..... & NO FORDS!!!

Friday, August 16, 2013

"Give it a try", Whispered The Heart...

I, like so many others, have gone through some definite ups & downs regarding love. Once you're up, it seems like you'll never be down, & once you're down, it seems like you'll never be up again...right?

As I look back, I question a lot of my choices regarding men... No regrets, aside from maybe not opening my eyes sooner, but just questions. Why didn't I see that? Why did I let him get away with this?

I've begun a new 'relationship' & at first was hesitant. Is this a good idea? Is it too soon? Am I ready?

Well I'm still not sure the answers to those questions, but I have informed 'him' of all this, as well as many other aspects in my life. 

& I'm glad I have. He's totally understanding & has given me hope & encouragement. 

Now to see if it lasts....

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Loving the new place & busy schedule!

Things have been going fairly well since the move. I have been busy, busy, busy! Between transferring paperwork from one county to another & making phone calls & appointments almost daily, things have been hectic. Now I'm, once again, on the job hunt. Luckily my new town has more available as far as work, so I'm hoping by the end of this month, I will have a new job!

The weather here has just been crazy. I think it has rained nearly every day since I arrived. The first week  wasn't too bad...but it's sooo cloudy, muggy, & the mosquito's are just nasty! I think I did pretty good though, waiting clear until August to get my first mosquito bite! haha.

However, the weather & my busy schedule has definitely not kept me from having a good time! With all the rain we've gotten, has come lots of mud :) Good times for sure!